While there are a lot of things going on to celebrate being a women – March 8, 2013 was International Women’s Day – many feel that the government and secular authorities have declared a war on women. These attacks range from empty rhetoric to trying to enforce policy changes that would seriously impact healthcare options that many women need and depend on.
But we as women are resilient and strong on many accounts. For instance, by now everyone knows that the divorce rate everywhere is staggering. Additionally, even though the number of teen pregnancies has decreased, particularly for the US, the number is still high. As a result of these and other factors, there are a lot of single-parent families – many of them headed by mothers.
Can single women raise children successfully? In this economy? With this job market? These questions have caused many to wonder. So I took the question to task and asked two single mothers – let’s call them A and J, of whom both are career women who’ve raised both sons and daughters – and this is what I found out:
Initially, single moms probably had no plans of parenting alone:
A: I saw my mom with all her children and it was so hard so I didn’t want children before I was married because I knew it would be harder for me to make it. People look down on you if you were not married and had children. Children poke fun at other children without both parents. But I [knew that I] could end up in divorce if my husband was not being a good provider nor (caretaker) of my children and me. I would not stay in a marriage as I felt my mom did just because my dad was her husband and father of her children – although I’m sure she loved him. Sometimes it is better for the children if you don’t stay with the father/husband.
J: It never occurred to me that I might become a single mom.
Most single moms don’t let setbacks hold them down:
J: It is never too late to achieve the things you want to accomplish in life. Being a single mom is hard, but you must never give up. You may not be able to do all the things you want, but with prayer and the help of the Lord you will be surprised at the things you can achieve. Even the goals you set before becoming a single mom you can achieve.
Many single moms develop a strong determination and fortitude that have helped to brave hard times:
A: Take one day at a time. Prioritize at all times with bills and the children’s needs. Just do the best you can each day and let it go. Children won’t always understand why you don’t have or why they can’t get what they need at that moment. Explain as simply as possible. Be positive at all times. Stay prayerful and take out time to access things. Write it out. Try to do something with the kids – go to the park, find out about some free activities for them and/or play games with them.
Regardless of past mistakes or mishaps, single moms can always look back at something that makes them smile:
A: [What makes me smile is] when I was bold enough to leave home although I was very afraid. I believed God would take care of me and my child.
J: The thing that makes me smile is that I raised my children and they are good, hard-working children. Later, I got the chance to go back to school and get my degree in accounting.
So, can single moms do it? By all accounts and based on the information above I think the words best to answer that question is – done and done.